Let’s face it. Genealogists are a different breed. We’re the detectives of family history, the time-travelers of the mind.
But what happens when we’re alone with our research? Buckle up, folks. We’re about to spill some ancestral tea.
1. Census Record Binge-Watching
Netflix, who? We’ve got census records. Just one more page, we say. It’s 3 AM. We’re still clicking. The thrill of finding a long-lost cousin is better than any season finale.
2. Family Tree Software Dance Parties
Found a new connection? Time to bust a move. We’re talking full-on victory dances. The more obscure the relative, the more elaborate the routine. Second cousin twice removed? That’s a moonwalk, baby.
3. Ancestor Fashion Critiques
Great-great-grandpa’s mustache? A crime against facial hair. We judge. We snark. We imagine family feuds over vintage fashion choices. “No, Ethel, you can’t wear that bustle to the church picnic!”
4. Time Travel Fantasies
Oh, the places we’d go. The people we’d meet. The records we’d save. But let’s be real. We’d probably just end up accidentally becoming our own ancestors.
5. DNA Test Kit Unboxing Ceremonies
It’s not just spitting in a tube. It’s an event. Candles. Incense. Chanting. “Oh great genetic gods, reveal unto me my true haplogroup!”
6. Genealogy Forum Trolling
We can’t resist. Posting outrageous family legends. Creating elaborate backstories for brick wall ancestors. “My great-great-grandfather was abducted by pirates and raised by mermaids. Anyone else?”
7. Ancestor Fan Fiction
Who says genealogy can’t be spicy? We’re writing historical romances starring our great-great-grandparents. Sorry, Grandma. Your love life just got a lot more interesting.
8. Archive Ninja Training
Stealth mode: activated. We’re developing secret hand signals to communicate with fellow researchers. Shh. The librarians suspect nothing.
9. Family Heirloom Treasure Hunts
Every old knick-knack is a potential clue. That rusty thimble? Clearly a priceless artifact. We’re one step away from our own reality show. “Ancestor Hunters: Junk Drawer Edition.”
10. Arguing with Centuries-Old Census Takers
They can’t hear us. Doesn’t stop us. We’ve got witty comebacks for every mistake. “Oh, you spelled Smith with a Y? Real professional, Jebediah.”
11. Explaining Complex Family Trees to Uninterested Pets
The cat doesn’t care about second cousins once removed. We persist. Mr. Whiskers will understand the importance of proper citation someday.
12. Secretly Judging Friends’ “Shallow” Family Histories
They only know their grandparents’ names? Amateurs. We suppress the urge to start impromptu genealogy lessons. It’s hard being the keeper of ancestral knowledge.
13. Correcting Historical Inaccuracies in Period Dramas
Shouting at the TV is a sport. Those costumes? Wrong era. That speech pattern? Anachronistic. We’re one strongly worded letter away from becoming historical consultants.
14. Creating Fake Time Machines
Cardboard boxes become time portals. Household items transform into control panels. Our family thinks we’ve lost it. They just don’t understand our vision.
15. Deciphering Ancient Handwriting
Great-great-grandma’s penmanship is our Rosetta Stone. We develop complex theories about secret messages hidden in loopy letters. The truth is out there. Probably.
16. Speed-Scrolling Olympics
We train like athletes. Finger exercises. Eye strain prevention. We’re going for gold in the 100-meter census scroll. Our personal best? 1000 names in 60 seconds.
17. Passive-Aggressive Emails to Distant Relatives
“Dear third cousin twice removed, I hope this email finds you well. I couldn’t help but notice you haven’t responded to my last 17 messages about great-aunt Gertrude’s christening gown…” We’re not bitter. Just persistent.
18. Ancestor Roleplay at Family Dinners
“Prithee, pass the salt, good sir.” We slip into character without warning. Our family is confused. We refuse to break. It’s not a phase, Mom. It’s historical accuracy.
19. DIY Photo Enhancement
Who needs fancy software? We’ve got magnifying glasses, flashlights, and determination. That blurry smudge from 1862? Definitely Uncle Gottfried’s nose. Case closed.
20. DNA Match Fantasy Leagues
We draft cousins like pro athletes. “With the first pick in the 2024 DNA draft, I select… 3rd to 5th cousin match #147!” It’s fantasy football for the genealogy set.
21. Ancestral Seances
“Oh, great-great-uncle Eustace, where did you hide the family Bible?” We set the mood with candles and crystal balls. That creaky floorboard? Definitely a sign from beyond.
22. Pitching Time-Travel TV Shows
“It’s ‘Who Do You Think You Are?’ meets ‘Doctor Who’!” We’ve got the whole series planned out. Episode 1: “The Case of the Disappearing Ancestor.” Hollywood, call us.
23. Practicing Royal Acceptance Speeches
“I’d like to thank the Academy… I mean, the Royal Genealogical Society…” We’ve rehearsed in the shower. We’re ready for our coronation. Any day now.
Embrace Your Quirks!
Genealogists, embrace your quirks. Our ancestors would be proud. Or slightly concerned.
Either way, keep digging. You never know what you’ll uncover next. Just maybe keep the dance parties to a minimum. The neighbors are starting to talk.
# 17… I am guilty… and have sent email messages, with photos, to first and second cousins about christening gowns. My husband injerited 2 beautiful, elaborate, vintage, christening gowns but we have no information about prior ownership or origin. I would like to give each of them to any family member, no matter how distant, who has a photo of a child wearing them. The gowns are historic items that are too good to throw away or donate but I know our children will dispose of them if they are still in my care when I am gone.
It sounds like those christening gowns hold a lot of history and sentimental value! Sending out those photos and asking for any family memories tied to them is a wonderful way to preserve their story, and finding a new home for them with someone who can appreciate their significance sounds like a perfect plan.