The Sideways Strategy Most Family Historians Miss

Most family historians get it wrong from day one.

I did too.

We obsess over extending our ancestry into the distant past. We hunt for ancestors to fill up our trees, often defining success by the number of people we’ve collected.

But here’s the truth: You’re missing the real treasure.

I recently came across a genealogist with 50 years of experience who shared something profound.

They started like we all do—trying to trace their lineage as far back as possible. They filled binders with pedigree charts. They went back as far as they could, despite the evidence being questionable.

And then they realized something.

All that impressive information? Not that interesting.

The Traditional Approach Fails Us

The traditional genealogy approach is broken. Full stop.

Going backwards in time feels productive. Each generation you add seems like an achievement.

A win.

But what are you really winning?

Names on paper. Dates in boxes. Facts without context.

You end up with ancestors you can’t connect with. People who exist only as data points. Is that really what you’re after?

I doubt it.

The obsession with pedigree creates the illusion of progress. But it’s empty calories.

Genealogical junk food.

Meanwhile, the real feast is elsewhere.

The Sideways Strategy

Here’s what works instead:

Once you identify your great-grandparents, stop going backward.

Instead, work sideways.

Track down the descendants of their siblings—your grand aunts and uncles and their children. Map out the cousin lines.

Why?

Because living relatives possess what dead ancestors cannot give you: context, stories, photos, and artifacts that bring your family history to life.

This is how you transform genealogy from a sterile collection of facts into a vibrant family narrative.

The Ticking Clock

This strategy comes with urgency built in.

Your dead ancestors will always be there. The records aren’t going anywhere.

But your cousins? They’re getting older every day.

When they pass, they take whole encyclopedias of valuable family information with them.

Forever.

Let that sink in.

The cousin who knows exactly who’s in that unlabeled photo from 1952? The one who remembers the family scandal your grandparents never spoke about? The one who saved every letter their mother ever wrote?

They won’t be around forever.

This isn’t theoretical. This is happening now.

Finding Your Cousins

Start with what you know.

Identify your great-grandparents. Then map out all siblings and their children.

Those children’s descendants are your prize.

Once you’ve identified potential cousins, reach out. Be direct but respectful.

A simple message: “Hi, I believe we share great-great-grandparents through [name]. I’m researching our family history and would love to connect.”

No need for complexity. Clarity wins.

The Treasure Hunt

When you meet your cousins (virtually or in person), come prepared.

What you’re looking for:

Family Photos

“I have never failed to find at least one gobsmacking treasure of a photo in there.”

That’s what our 50-year genealogy veteran discovered. Every single time.

That photo album gathering dust in your cousin’s closet? It contains images of your ancestors you’ve never seen. Guaranteed.

The best part? Your cousin probably thinks there’s nothing interesting in there. They’re wrong.

Personal Documents

Look for:

• Letters
• Diaries
• Military papers
• Birth and marriage certificates
• School records
• Employment history

These documents contain details you’ll never find in public records.

Family Stories

These are gold.

Stories passed down through generations reveal the character of your ancestors. Their personalities. Their triumphs and failures.

Record these conversations (with permission). These oral histories are priceless.

Personal Artifacts

The pocket watch your great-grandfather carried every day.

The recipe book your great-grandmother annotated.

The tools your ancestor used in their trade.

These objects connect you physically to your past in ways a census record never will.

Documenting Your Discoveries

Capture everything. Leave nothing behind.

Bring a portable scanner or set up a camera with a tripod. Document everything your cousin shares.

Create a system immediately:

1. Label every photo with names, dates, and locations
2. Transcribe handwritten documents
3. Record the provenance of every item
4. Cross-reference with your existing research

Organization matters. What looks obvious today will be confusing in six months.

The Real Value Proposition

Let me be clear about what you gain from this approach.

One page of family history about your great-grandfather’s daily life as a farmer is worth more than an entire volume documenting your connection to royalty.

Why?

Because that farmer is actually connected to you.

You share his DNA, yes. But more importantly, you share the legacy of his choices. His values. His struggles.

That’s your true inheritance.

The stories of ordinary people doing ordinary things reveal extraordinary truths about who you are and where you come from.

Creating Priority and Urgency

Make a list of your oldest living relatives right now.

Not tomorrow.

Today.

Rank them by age and health status. This is your contact priority list.

Start at the top. Work your way down.

Every month that passes is another risk that someone on that list takes their knowledge with them permanently.

Do not delay this work.

The Wider Narrative

As you collect information from multiple cousin lines, patterns emerge.

You’ll discover:

• How different branches interpreted the same family events
• Regional and cultural influences on different parts of your family
• Recurring traits, talents, and tendencies across generations
• The real impact of historical events on your family

This lateral view creates depth that vertical research never can.

You stop seeing ancestors as isolated individuals and start understanding them as part of an interconnected human story—your story.

Taking Action Now

Don’t overthink this. Execute.

This is the truth of genealogy.

Names and dates will wait.

Stories won’t.

Choose wisely.