Let’s face it, fellow genealogists. We’re a special breed.
Normal people go to parties. We? We party with census records.
They have social lives. We have… well, we have dead relatives.
But hey, who needs a thriving social circle when you’ve got a family tree that spans centuries, right?
…Right?
Look, we all know the truth. Sometimes, our dedication to unraveling family mysteries might just border on obsession. And while we’d never actually use these excuses, let’s be honest – a tiny part of us wishes we could.
So, let’s dive into the top 10 utterly ridiculous, completely over-the-top “excuses” that exist only in our genealogy-obsessed imaginations.
1. “My Great-Great-Grandmother’s Sister’s Husband’s Dog’s Previous Owner Needs Me”
You heard that right. It’s urgent.
Who else is going to figure out if Fido’s original owner was the key to unlocking your family’s secret fortune? No one, that’s who.
Your friends might think you’re crazy. They’re not wrong. But they also don’t understand the thrill of connecting with your 19th-century canine companions.
2. “I’m Stuck in a Time Warp… Again”
Time is a fickle thing when you’re a genealogist. One minute, you’re checking a census record. The next? You’re five hours deep into a rabbit hole of ship manifests.
Tell your friends you’ll catch up with them… in another century.
3. “There’s a Family Feud in 1823 That Needs My Mediation”
Your peacekeeping skills are needed. Urgently.
Sure, the feud ended 200 years ago. But who’s counting? You’ve got a reputation to uphold as the family’s time-traveling diplomat.
4. “I’m Translating Ancient Hieroglyphs… I Mean, Great-Grandpa’s Handwriting”
Have you seen your ancestor’s handwriting? It might as well be hieroglyphs.
You’re not just a genealogist. You’re a code breaker. A decipherer of the indecipherable.
Indiana Jones has nothing on you.
5. “I’ve Just Found 37 New DNA Matches… I Need to Stalk Them All Immediately”
New matches are like Christmas morning for genealogists. Except it’s better.
Because who needs presents when you can have new fourth cousins twice removed?
Your mission: Stalk them all. Now. Before they change their privacy settings.
6. “I’m Attending a Grave Night Out… Literally”
Cemeteries are the hottest clubs for genealogists. And you’ve got VIP access.
The dress code? Comfortable shoes and a flashlight.
Tell your friends you’re going clubbing. You’re not lying.
7. “I’m in a Heated Debate with Someone Who Thinks They’re Related to Royalty”
The genealogy forums are your battleground. Your weapon? Facts.
Someone’s claiming they’re the long-lost heir to the throne? Not on your watch.
You’ve got a reputation to uphold. The reputation of truth.
8. “I’ve Got a Hot Date with the Microfiche Reader”
Who needs Tinder when you’ve got microfilm?
It’s just you, the reader, and endless rolls of census records. Romantic, isn’t it?
Tell your friends you’re busy swiping. Right through decades of historical documents.
9. “I’m Busy Photoshopping Myself into Historical Family Photos”
Time travel isn’t real. Yet.
But Photoshop is. And you’re making the most of it.
Why attend a real event when you can “attend” your great-grandparents’ wedding?
10. “I’m Expecting an Important Call from the 19th Century”
Your tin can phone is set up. Your séance skills are primed.
Any minute now, your 3rd great-grandfather is going to call with the location of that missing birth certificate.
You can’t miss this call. It’s only 150 years in the making.
Embrace Your Genealogy Addiction
Here’s the truth: Genealogy isn’t just a hobby. It’s an obsession.
It’s late nights, bleary eyes, and the constant thrill of discovery.
Your friends might not get it. But we do.
So go ahead. Use these excuses. Embrace your genealogy addiction.
Because somewhere out there, your ancestors are proud. They’re cheering you on.
And isn’t that better than any social event?
Now, over to you. What’s your go-to genealogy excuse? Drop it in the comments.
Let’s build the ultimate arsenal of ancestor-approved alibis.
Together, we’ll keep the spirit of genealogy alive. One missed social event at a time.
I have thirteen stacks of documents, etc. for all different family lines all over my dining room table that need to be organized and filed because I think I heard we have company coming for supper tomorrow.
Good Luck Lucy! I started “organizing” one family line
which was sorted into Aldi box tops two years ago. I thought it was going to be a 2 hour job or so. At any rate, as I was busy organizing, I found hot leads that lead into another surname so that is where I went next. Before you know it, now two years later I have about 5 family names intertwined and not totally organized but “sorted” into more Aldi box tops!
My husband always told me I spend more time with the dead than the living.
I laughed and said, “Maybe it’s the conversation?” Luckily, he liked my sense of humor.
“I just have another 500 pages of church records to go. I’m close!” This was my excuse when I discovered 300 years of near-perfect church records (online) from my grandfather’s small home town in Sicily. Needless to say, I was far from close to “finishing.”
I love this article. I can relate to it in so many ways. Our community has a graveyard that dates back to the 1700s. I might just organize a visit for residents—”Attending a Grave Night Out.”