10 Signs You’re Officially a Genealogy Addict

Let’s face it. You’re hooked. Genealogy isn’t just a hobby anymore. It’s an obsession. A passion. A way of life.

But how do you know if you’ve crossed the line from casual family historian to full-blown genealogy junkie? Simple. You exhibit these telltale signs:

1. Your Weekend Plans Involve Cemeteries

Forget brunch. Screw the beach. You’re hitting the graveyard.

And not just any graveyard. The older, the better. Bonus points if it’s overgrown and forgotten. You’re not morbid. You’re a researcher on a mission.

Ever mistaken a cemetery visit for a picnic? Yeah, you’re in deep.

2. You Speak Fluent “Census”

1880 U.S. Census? Child’s play. You can decipher that chicken scratch faster than a doctor reading their own prescription.

You know every occupation code by heart. “Ag Lab”? Agricultural Laborer. Duh.

Your friends think you’re learning a new language. They’re not entirely wrong.

3. You Have a Subscription to Every Genealogy Site

Ancestry.com? Check. MyHeritage? Obviously. FamilySearch? Please.

Your credit card statement reads like a who’s who of genealogy websites. You’ve got more subscriptions than Netflix, Hulu, and Disney+ combined.

Budget? What budget? These are investments in your family’s legacy. Right?

4. Your Family Tree is a Redwood

Your family tree isn’t just a tree. It’s a forest. A dense, sprawling ecosystem of ancestors and descendants.

You need a map to navigate it. And a compass. And possibly a sherpa.

When someone asks to see your family tree, you laugh. Then cry. Then start unrolling the scrolls.

5. You Celebrate Ancestors’ Birthdays

Great-great-grandpa’s birthday? It’s on your calendar. With a reminder.

You’ve baked cakes for people who died centuries ago. Normal? No. Dedicated? Absolutely.

Your friends think you’re throwing parties for imaginary friends. If only they knew.

6. You’ve Attended a Genealogy Conference (or Ten)

Genealogy conferences are your Coachella. Your Super Bowl. Your Fashion Week.

You’ve got the lanyards to prove it. And the tote bags. So many tote bags.

The fashion choices are… unique. But hey, who needs style when you’ve got pedigree charts?

7. Your Bookshelf is Full of History Books

Local histories. Census records. Military registers. Your bookshelf looks like a library threw up.

You’ve run out of space for actual furniture. Who needs a couch when you can sit on a stack of county histories?

Your idea of light reading? A 500-page tome on 17th-century migration patterns.

8. You Have a DNA Test Kit Collection

23andMe? Done it. AncestryDNA? Of course. FamilyTreeDNA? Yep.

You’ve swabbed more cheeks than a dental hygienist. Your own DNA is probably tired of being analyzed.

You’re not just looking for ethnicity estimates. You’re hunting for fourth cousins twice removed.

9. Your Browser History is 90% Genealogy Websites and 10% “How to Read Latin Church Records”

Your search history is a wild ride. From “1750s colonial handwriting” to “common 19th-century causes of death.”

You’ve Googled more dead people than living ones. FBI watchlist? Probably.

Latin church records are your Everest. And you’re determined to conquer them.

10. You’ve Developed a Strange Fascination with Historical Diseases and Their Symptoms

Consumption? Dropsy? The king’s evil? You know ’em all.

You casually diagnose your ancestors with obscure ailments. “Oh, poor Uncle Jebediah. Clearly a case of milk sickness.”

Your dinner conversation topics make people lose their appetites. But you’re just getting started.

So, Are You an Addict?

There you have it. 10 undeniable signs you’re a genealogy addict. But hey, there are worse addictions, right?

At least this one comes with a family tree. And maybe a few skeletons in the closet. Embrace it. Own it. You’re not just studying history. You’re preserving it.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got some census records to decipher.