87 Genealogists Reveal What They Wish They Knew Before Starting

Look, I get it.

You just discovered your great-great-grandmother’s maiden name and you’re ready to trace your lineage back to medieval royalty.

Maybe you’ve been at this for years. Maybe you’re just starting.

Doesn’t matter.

What matters is this: you’re about to save thousands of hours by learning from other people’s mistakes.

I crowdsourced wisdom from seasoned genealogists. The kind who’ve been doing this since before the internet existed. The kind who learned every lesson the hard way.

Here’s what they wish they knew.

1. Don’t Trust Everything You See Online

This is the number one mistake. Bar none.

Every experienced genealogist has deleted massive chunks of their tree because they trusted someone else’s research.

Think about it.

Some random person creates a family tree on Ancestry. They guess at a few connections. Maybe they mix up two people with similar names. Now their tree shows up in search results.

Another person copies it. Then another. And another.

Suddenly, this completely fabricated connection appears in 50 different trees.

Must be true, right?

Wrong.

The same goes for any other site. Take FindAGrave. Photos get mislabeled. Dates get transcribed incorrectly. Information gets added by people who never knew the deceased.

One genealogist found a photo labeled as their ancestor who supposedly died in 1791. Problem? The camera wasn’t invented in 1791.

Here’s what you do instead:

Treat every piece of information as a lead. Not a fact. Verify everything with actual documents. Birth certificates. Marriage records. Census data. Court documents.

No source? It’s not real.

2. Your Living Relatives Are Your Most Valuable Resource

This one hurts.

Because by the time most people realize it, it’s too late.

Your 85-year-old great-aunt knows stories that aren’t written anywhere. She remembers names, places, and connections that no document will ever tell you.

But here’s the thing: she won’t be here forever.

Neither will her DNA.

Every genealogist has that one relative they wish they’d interviewed. That one person whose DNA could have solved a decades-old mystery.

Don’t be that person with regrets.

Interview your oldest relatives now. Today. This weekend. Not “when you have more time.”

Ask open-ended questions. Don’t lead them. Let them ramble about the old days. Record everything.

Here’s a list of 170 questions to ask.

And get their DNA tested. Store it with FamilyDNA if you have to. That biological information dies with them.

Time is not on your side here.

3. Documentation Is Everything (And Nothing Is 100% Reliable)

Paradox time.

You need to document every single source. Every website. Every page number. Every URL.

Every scribble in the margins, every ink spill on the page.

Why?

Because you will forget. I promise you will forget where you found that one crucial record from three years ago.

But here’s the kicker: even official documents lie.

Census records? The neighbor might have given the information. “Oh, the Smiths? Yeah, Jim’s about 45, I think. From Iowa? Maybe?”

Death certificates? The grieving spouse might not remember their mother-in-law’s maiden name.

Or care.

Marriage records? People lied about their age all the time. Previous marriages? What previous marriages?

One genealogist discovered their ancestor’s death certificate had the wrong birth date. Off by four months. The church records proved it.

Another found that their great-grandmother’s “parents” on her marriage certificate were actually her aunt and uncle who raised her.

Document everything. Trust nothing completely. Verify from multiple sources.

4. Names Are Not What They Seem

This will mess with your head.

John Smith in the 1850 census might be Johann Schmidt in the 1840 census.

Mary O’Brien might be Maria Bryne. Or Marie Bryan. Or Molly O’Bryan.

Immigration did weird things to names. So did census takers who couldn’t spell. So did transcriptionists 150 years later.

But it gets worse.

That Thomas Jefferson Smith you found? Might be the same person as T.J. Smith. And Tom Smith. And Thos. Smith.

People used nicknames. Middle names. Completely different names.

One researcher found their great-uncle listed as Ray in all family documents. His legal name? Elmer. His birth name? Alek.

And here’s the real mind-bender: two people with identical names in the same town might not be the same person. Three John Smiths could live on the same street.

Always check multiple identifiers. Birth dates. Spouse names. Children’s names. Occupations. Addresses. Research family networks, not just individuals.

Never assume.

5. Slow Down and Go Deep

Everyone wants to build their tree back to Adam and Eve.

Slow down.

Here’s what happens when you rush: you miss connections. You miss clues. You miss entire branches of your family.

Good genealogists don’t just collect names. They understand families.

They research siblings. Why? Because your ancestor’s brother might have left better records. His marriage certificate might list the parents’ names that your ancestor’s doesn’t.

They learn local history. That tornado in 1883? That’s why your family suddenly moved three counties over.

They understand occupations. Your ancestor was a cordwainer? That’s a shoemaker. Changes how you search for records.

One family per day is better than ten families per hour.

Build research journals. Create spreadsheets. Track which censuses you’ve checked for which people.

Depth beats speed every time.

6. Beyond the Big Three Websites

Ancestry is not the only game in town.

Neither is FamilySearch. Or MyHeritage.

Most beginners never venture beyond these sites. They’re missing 90% of available records.

The FamilySearch Catalog (not the search function – the actual catalog) contains millions of unindexed records. You have to browse them manually. Page by page. For now…

Local historical societies have records that will never be digitized. County courthouses hold land deeds that reveal family relationships.

Newspapers contain obituaries, but also marriage announcements. Birth announcements. Social columns mentioning your ancestor’s visit from out-of-town relatives.

Property records show more than ownership. They show witnesses (often relatives). They show previous owners (often parents). They show neighbors (often siblings).

Church records. Specialized ethnic databases. University archives. Military records beyond what’s on Fold3.

If you’re only using the big three, you’re boxing with one hand tied behind your back.

7. Manage Your Expectations

Reality check incoming.

You will never finish your family tree. Ever.

Accept it now.

Every answer creates two new questions. Every generation doubles your ancestors. Every record leads to three more you need to find.

You will hit brick walls. Some will last decades.

Not all records exist. Courthouse fires. Wars. Time. Many records are simply gone forever.

Your family might not care about your 400-hour research project. At all.

That connection to George Washington? It’s probably fake. Sorry. Gateway ancestors are usually mythology.

One researcher spent 20 years tracing their line back to nobility. Turned out the crucial connection was fabricated in the 1800s by someone trying to claim an inheritance.

Set realistic goals. Celebrate small victories. Enjoy the process.

8. Protect Your Work

This one’s painful.

Thousands of hours of research. Gone. No backup.

It happens more than you think.

Cloud storage fails. Hard drives crash. Websites disappear.

One genealogist lost 15 years of work because they only stored it locally. No backup. Computer died.

Another had their public Ancestry tree “corrected” by other users. Photos attached to wrong people. Connections changed. Work undone.

Here’s what you do:

Back up everything. Cloud AND local storage. Export GEDCOM files regularly.

Screenshot important records. Websites go down. Databases get paywalled. Images disappear.

Keep your working tree private until you’re certain of connections.

Paranoid? Maybe. But paranoid genealogists still have their research.

9. Think Like a Detective

Genealogy is detective work.

Period.

You’re solving cold cases that are 200 years old with incomplete evidence.

Think beyond direct searches. Can’t find your ancestor’s parents? Check their siblings’ records. Check who witnessed their marriage. Check their children’s middle names.

DNA matches are clues, not answers. Build one master tree. Include all matches. The connections will emerge.

Read between the lines. Your ancestor sold their farm for $1 to their “friend”? That’s probably their son-in-law. Pre-marriage property transfer.

Use modern tools wisely. ChatGPT can decipher old handwriting. Google Earth can show you why your ancestor’s farm was valuable.

Look for patterns. Seven families with the same surname moved from Virginia to Kentucky to Missouri? They’re probably related. Follow the group.

Question everything. Family stories about Native American ancestry? Usually false.

Evidence. Always evidence.

10. The Community Is Your Friend

Here’s a secret:

Other genealogists want to help you.

But most beginners either never ask or ask wrong.

Post specific questions in forums. Include what you’ve already searched. Show your work.

Bad question: “Looking for information on John Smith.”

Good question: “Looking for parents of John C. Smith, born approximately 1832 in Ohio, married Mary Jones 1855 in Clermont County, died 1889 in Hamilton County. I’ve checked census records 1850-1880 and found…”

See the difference?

Distant cousins have pieces of your puzzle. They have photos. Letters. Family Bibles. Stories.

One researcher posted about a brick wall ancestor. Within days, a fourth cousin responded with the family Bible that contained three more generations.

Share your findings. Correct transcription errors. Upload record images.

Give first. Get second.

11. The Geography Factor

Location changes everything.

Your ancestor lived in the same house for 50 years but their address changed three times? County boundaries shifted.

Can’t find birth records? Check the parent county. Check neighboring counties. Check the state next door.

People didn’t travel far to get married. Or buried. Or to file legal documents.

Map your ancestors’ movements. Literally. Use old maps. Understand why they moved where they moved.

That cluster of families in Indiana? They probably came from the same county in North Carolina. Together.

Software that doesn’t search by location is worthless for serious research. You need to know everyone who lived in that town. They’re probably related somehow.

One genealogist kept researching the same Illinois records for years. Finally mapped the family. Realized they should have been searching Missouri. The county line had moved.

12. Document Analysis Goes Beyond Reading

Reading records isn’t enough.

You need to analyze them.

Who witnessed that will? Usually family members. Or close friends who might have married into the family.

Your ancestor’s occupation was “yeoman”? They owned land. Changes where you look for records.

Check handwriting. Same person wrote multiple death certificates? Might be the doctor or undertaker. Their information might be less reliable.

Legal documents are goldmines. Read every word. That random person mentioned in paragraph six? Might be your ancestor’s mother’s maiden name.

Look at the margins. Clerks made notes. “Proved by brother” next to a signature? There’s your family connection.

One researcher stared at a marriage record for years. Finally noticed the witness signatures. The bride’s “friend” had the same rare surname as the groom’s mother.

Always view the full document. Indexes miss crucial details.

13. The Emotional Journey No One Warns You About

This hits different than other hobbies.

You’ll cry over people who died 150 years ago. You’ll get angry at ancestors who made terrible choices. You’ll feel proud of struggles you never knew existed.

One day you’re researching names. Next day you’re sobbing over a child mortality record from 1847.

I wrote another article all about this phenomenon called The Ghost in Your DNA: Why You Feel Connected to Ancestors You’ve Never Met.

You’ll discover affairs. Abandonments. Crimes. Heroes. Villains. Regular people who did extraordinary things.

Family members might hate what you find. That pristine family mythology? Sometimes it’s covering something painful.

You’ll dream about dead people. You’ll see their faces in old photos and feel like you know them.

The obsession is real. Set boundaries. Your living family needs you present.

But also? Embrace it. This connection to your past changes you.

It’s supposed to.

The Bottom Line

Genealogy is not a sprint.

It’s not even a marathon.

It’s a relay race where you might never meet the next runner.

Start with one thing from this list. Just one. Implement it today.

Interview that elderly relative. Document that source. Map that cluster of families.

Small actions compound. Bad research compounds too.

Twenty years from now, you’ll thank yourself for starting right. Or curse yourself for trusting that unsourced Ancestry tree.

Your choice.

The dead can wait. They’re patient like that.

But the living can’t. And neither can you.

Start now. Start right.

Your ancestors are counting on you to tell their story correctly.

Don’t let them down.