Look, I get it.
You’re the family member with four banker’s boxes of “historical documents” under your bed.
The one who gets way too excited about cemetery visits. The one who’s had to explain that no, you can’t just throw away great-grandma’s grocery lists from 1943.
Here’s the truth: We’re all a little obsessed. And I’m about to validate every single one of your weird preservation habits.
1. A Collection of Funeral Programs
You’ve kept every single one. For thirty years.
Not because you’re morbid, but because these aren’t just sad reminders – they’re genealogical goldmines.
Each program tells you who Great-Uncle Joe’s pallbearers were (confirming those family connections you suspected). They reveal that Aunt Mary really did sing in the church choir, despite what her sister claims.
And sometimes, buried in those flowery memorials, you find gems like “cherished by her step-children’s neighbors” that crack open whole new research paths.
Plus, where else would you discover that your great-grandfather’s favorite hymn was “The Old Rugged Cross” or that your second cousin twice removed raised prize-winning dahlias?
2. A Box of Unidentified Photos
“Who are these people?” your spouse asks.
“Nobody knows…” you respond, for the hundredth time.
That man in the military uniform might be great-grandpa Joe. Or his brother.
Or the mailman.
You can’t be sure, but the house in the background looks suspiciously like the one from that property deed you found last year. And someone wrote “Christmas 1912” on the back in handwriting that matches… something.
You’re not sure what, but you’ve created a whole handwriting analysis spreadsheet to figure it out.
You know, deep down, that the moment you throw these away, someone will email you looking for a photo of exactly that person.
3. Great-Grandma’s Church Bulletin Collection
Listen. Those bulletins from First Presbyterian circa 1932-1957 are a GOLDMINE of information.
Sure, your family thinks you’re crazy for keeping them. But you’ve already found three marriage announcements for “lost” cousins and discovered your grandmother was the secretary of the Ladies’ Aid Society.
You even proved that great-uncle Harold definitely lied about singing in the choir.
Besides, where else would you learn that your great-grandmother brought her “famous” potato salad to every church picnic for 25 years? (Even though nobody in the family has the recipe.)
4. That Box of Random Keys Labeled “Important”
Great-grandpa labeled this box “Important Keys – Keep Safe” sometime around 1965. And by god, you’re keeping them safe.
Nobody knows what they open. Half of them are probably to padlocks that rusted shut during the Truman administration.
The properties they belonged to might not even exist anymore. But what if one of them opens a secret family vault? Or great-grandpa’s mysterious workshop?
Or… okay, fine, they’re probably just old shed keys. BUT YOU NEVER KNOW.
5. The Collection of Seemingly Random Newspaper Clippings
Your great-grandmother apparently never met a newspaper she didn’t want to cut up.
You’ve inherited recipe clippings that no one ever made, random obituaries of people you can’t connect to the family (yet), and local news stories about weather from 1947.
There’s even half of a crossword puzzle, filled out incorrectly.
But that one time you found a tiny mention of your great-grandfather winning a pie-eating contest in 1925 made it all worth it.
6. Those Medical Receipts from 1938
Why did you keep great-grandpa’s bunion surgery receipt?
BECAUSE IT’S A PRIMARY SOURCE DOCUMENT.
Normal people might think it’s weird that you can tell family stories about the time great-grandpa got his wisdom teeth out ($3.50 in 1934) or great-grandma’s mysterious “women’s trouble” treatment.
But you know these medical records are actually revealing important family history.
7. The Cryptic Address Book
Found in your grandmother’s desk, this address book is a mystery wrapped in a puzzle.
It contains addresses from 1952 that you’ve mapped on Google Earth, phone numbers with only 4 digits, and mystery people labeled only as “Betty – Church” or “Jim – Factory.”
You’ve spent more time researching these random contacts than your actual ancestors.
Because what if “Betty – Church” is actually the key to finding great-grandma’s baptism record?
8. A Tin of Wedding Cake from 1932
Yes, it’s probably petrified. No, you’re not opening it to check.
This isn’t just any old tin of ancient cake – it’s the actual cake from your grandparents’ wedding. It survived the Depression, two moves, and that time Aunt Betty tried to “clean out” the attic.
The slight rattling sound when you move it is concerning, but you’re convinced it’s a vital piece of family history.
Besides, how many people can say they own a dessert that’s older than social security?
9. A Journal That’s Mostly Complaints About the Weather
Your great-grandfather kept a daily weather journal from 1908-1951.
Every. Single. Day.
It’s basically 43 years of “Cloudy again. Might rain,” “Too hot for April,” and his personal favorite, “Got rain. Too much.”
But you’ve transcribed every entry because that one time he mentioned “Saw Johnson’s barn burn after the lightning” helped you solve the mystery of why the family moved in 1922.
Now you’re cross-referencing his weather observations with historical meteorological data, convinced his complaints about early frosts hold the key to understanding the family’s migration patterns.
10. A Rusty Old Tool No One Knows How to Use
It’s either for leather working, dentistry, or possibly horse shoeing.
Nobody’s quite sure, but it was important enough for great-grandpa to keep it wrapped in three layers of oil cloth.
You’ve posted photos on every history forum imaginable, and the best guess you’ve gotten is “maybe farming?”
The handle is worn in specific spots that tell you exactly how it was held. You just wish it could tell you WHY it was held that way.
11. A Trunk Full of Clothes That Don’t Fit Anyone
Great-grandma’s trunk arrived from the old country with these clothes, and by golly, you’re keeping them.
The dresses are too long for modern humans, the buttons are in strange places, and there’s at least one hat that defies gravity.
But these aren’t just clothes – they’re clues.
That weird seam in the wedding dress? Proof of wartime fabric rationing. The hidden pocket in the Sunday coat? Still contains a typed recipe for sauerkraut and a trolley ticket from 1919.
Every time someone suggests donating them, you launch into a passionate speech about textile preservation and historical documentation.
The Truth About Being the Family Historian
We’re not hoarders.
We’re curators of family history. (Okay, maybe we’re also a little bit hoarders.)
But every strange item we keep helps tell our family’s story. Even if that story is just “great-grandpa really needed to work on his handwriting.”
So keep that rusty key. Archive those funeral programs. Preserve that petrified cake.
Because one day, someone will ask about that random newspaper clipping you saved. And you’ll get to be the hero who knows exactly why great-aunt Mildred kept a weather report from August 12, 1947.
(It was the day she met great-uncle Fred at a barn raising that almost got rained out. See? Everything connects.)
Re:#3. That potato salad recipe is probably in the church cookbook that you’ve also kept.